The past few weeks have been a bit of a whirl wind. Aaron and I found out we were pregnant a couple weeks ago which subsequently threw me into the very typical nausea and complete exhaustion that I experience with every pregnancy (although the nausea has been less. girl? maybe??) I have tried (with lots of prayer) to tackle the to-do lists that come along with this business as well as protecting and esteeming my top priorities (husband and little guys). Let's just say things were barely getting crossed off the list, the house was a wreck, I haven't felt like cooking in weeks, the laundry was piling up and the way I really wanted to spend my day was to simply lay on the couch. Add to that my typical first trimester hormonal irritability with life in general... I must admit I feel a little sorry for anyone who has crossed my path over the past few weeks. Sorry husband, kids and friends... I do really love you.
So on Tuesday, my to-do list was a mile long in preparation to launch my Holiday Collection as well as the preparation for our long trip to Virginia which we were leaving for on Thursday. And then we were stopped dead in our tracks when I had just a bit of spotting on Tuesday afternoon. We suffered a miscarriage before our oldest son Andrew and the symptoms were the same. We panicked and everything else that was seemingly so important before now faded away. It's funny how a scare like that reminds you very quickly what is really important.
Our very busy doctor was graciously able to get us an appointment the following day. I spent Tuesday in bed not thinking about anything but this little life. Praying God's will to be done and the grace to be able to handle the outcome. Surprisingly I spent the afternoon with a familiar sense of peace. I have experienced this peace before... the kind that goes beyond understanding. I slept well that night but every time I woke up my husband was awake and praying... on his knees before our Lord, begging God for the life of our baby. I am thankful for so many who took that burden for me on Tuesday night. This is not the first time I have experienced peace at the expense of someone else bearing my pain.
On Wednesday morning, we were taken back to the ultrasound room where I completely lost it. Up until this point I had held such composure, but when I say the technician I immediately felt sorry for her... what if she had to tell us bad news. I thought to myself, 'what a horrible job she has.' We had assumed the worst and had begun preparing ourselves for what that would look like. When you have suffered in the ways that we have, it is the natural response. However, no matter the natural response our spirit steadfastly reminds us God is faithful... no matter the outcome. We trust God's Word when it says "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." Not coincidentally, Aaron was studying out that passage Tuesday morning before this scare occurred. We trust that although there is suffering and pain and no matter how painful the outcome may be, it works together for our good. To make us more like Christ. To bring Him glory.
However, on this day God answered our prayers in the way that we were hoping. We had prayed for a miracle. We begged our brothers and sisters to beg God on our behalf. And they did. What a blessing that God allows us to be a part of His workings. "... The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective." says James 5:16
Praise God, we heard our little baby's heart beat and was assured of his/her little life. We are beyond excited (and mentally/physically/emotionally exhausted too)... and just to make you laugh, imagine my husband in the waiting room at the doctor's office after we heard the good news, singing at the top of his lungs to Black Eyed Peas 'I've Got a Feeling.' I might have had to ask him to stop. haha. He was just so giddy. :)
Needless to say through this week's craziness the Holiday Collection debut was put on hold (although it will be debuting very shortly) as well as a handful of other projects with wonderful clients who will be waiting for just a few more days. Thank you for your patience and graciousness with me. I do have the best clients and readers in the entire world!
Lots of love,
p.s. My husband wrote a wonderful post on this very same topic (with a little more detail and some funny pictures that will make you laugh.)