Monday, January 30, 2012


I asked for help.

And God provided.

Asher has a new friend. Her name is Amy.

Amy is a family friend and partner in ministry. And now, on Monday mornings she will also be Asher's nanny.

Asher will have another friend on Wednesday mornings. Her name is Akenia. And her sweet baby Elijah will be joining their play time.

A huge feeling of relief has washed over me. For the first time in weeks, as I looked at my 4 pages of things I would like to tackle before baby girl arrives in May, I did not feel deflated or discouraged, but excited.

I am excited to have a dedicated work time these two days and I am excited that Asher is already having so much fun. I am hopeful for all that I am trying to accomplish over the next three months in preparation to take an extended maternity leave this summer.

So, get ready for some big things! Coming soon. :)

Saturday, January 28, 2012


I am sitting in Panera.

Just a teeny bit discouraged.

And just a bit emotional as well.

Sitting here I was reminded of the day I wrote my very first blog post. It was then that I was reminded of true heartache and that this seriously momentary affliction will pass.

Yet, I am still human and in my weakness I sit here looking like a complete crazy person crying in Panera. Who does that?

I guess I do.

I think the internet world allows us to project a very put-together version of ourselves. A version of us that never misses a deadline, is always wearing the perfect wardrobe, living in a clean-never-messy-beautifully decorated house and a refrigerator stocked full of organic food for the children who never misbehave.

To be honest, many of my days, especially in the past few weeks, are just plain hard. And probably ugly. (insert: stomping feet and a desire to throw things.)

I wrote multiple blog posts this past week. None of them were ever posted. Why? Because among other things, this work-at-home mama faced a no internet battle the entire week and many of the days over the period of the past month since we moved into the new house. On Thursday alone I spend 4 hours on the phone trying to resolve the issue. It is seemingly so menial but when you begin receiving emails from clients saying that have decided to go in another direction because they have not heard from you, your tough exterior begins to break a little.

So, today I am just a real person, fighting silly little battles that turn into big mountains that seem, at times, impossible to climb. Maybe by Monday I will be back to a normal routine with something fun to show you!

Lots of love. (and many thanks for understanding... and letting me cry sometimes.)

Monday, January 23, 2012

God. Is. Faithful.

Our life took a little turn a little over a month ago and since then I don't think my feet have hit the ground. My desire and prayer was that God would provide the strength and energy we needed, that we would continue to serve Him with joy and bring glory to His name. And of course He did just that. He is faithful to provide the strength we need to keep moving. So, although it has been a whirlwind we are transitioning and transitioning well.

Yesterday at church we were learning from Isaiah 42 and God spoke very clearly to me through these two specific verses:

“I am the LORD; I have called you in righteousness; I will take you by the hand and keep you;
I will give you as a covenant for the people, a light for the nations, to open the eyes that are blind,
to bring out the prisoners from the dungeon, from the prison those who sit in darkness."*

What you see here is God, the Father speaking to God, the Son, Jesus. He is saying, 'don't worry, don't be afraid I am going to take care of You.' My husband spoke about how since Andrew, our oldest, was a baby he has always told him, 'when you are with daddy, you don't ever have to afraid...' and that is what we are seeing God, the Father say to His Son in this moment. 'I'm here, I have called You and You don't have to be afraid.' 

And yet, what does the Father say next? 'I will give you as a covenant for the people.' i.e. 'I am going to ask you to die for our creation so that they may be connected with me.'

God says He will keep us, that we can trust in Him and yet He never promises a life without trial or difficulty.

Our family has been through so much in the past few years and even in the past month it seems as though every day presents it's own mini-trial. i.e. yesterday it was a dead car battery, today it is a very leaking kitchen sink. Last week we had a follow-up ultrasound for our baby girl. The first ultrasound had shown some cyst-like spots on her brain and they wanted to recheck her heart also. So, our moment of rejoicing over the gift of this baby quickly turned into a petition for her health. God is, moment by moment, reminding our family to put our trust in only Him. There is absolutely no security apart from Him.

God reminded me through the passage in Isaiah that He has promised to 'keep' me (and my family) and though that does not mean 'keep from struggles or pain' it does mean that His faithfulness will sustain us... no matter what we have to endure.

As someone who has suffered greatly and had significant worldly security stripped away, I can say with absolute assurance that God has kept me. I am safe in His arms and I don't have to be afraid.

P.S. Baby girl's second ultrasound showed a perfectly healthy and beautiful baby girl. But we welcome prayers for her healthy development!

*Emphasis added is mine.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Little Baby!

A picture is indeed worth a thousand words.

Now I can call you by name little one. 
When I talk to you 
or when I talk to Jesus about you. 

I already love you and I cannot wait to hold you in my arms.

Praising God for this healthy baby girl.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Happy New Year

I hope your 2011 ended beautifully and that your new year is off to a great start!

Over the past three weeks I have been reminded once again that I am not in control of anything. It is a great (and very difficult) way to start a new year. It is great because I am being purged of my own strength and pushed into a position of weakness where only God can receive the glory for anything that is accomplished. It is difficult because our family has once again been reminded that nothing is safe and only our relationship with the Lord is secure. Your home and financial stability can be taken from you, literally overnight.

Through a series of events we found out that our home, our investment that we had poured our entire savings into when we moved from Virginia to Florida, has been deemed essentially worthless. Our house has chinese drywall which is a defective drywall that when met with the humid air of the gulf coast begins to break down and emit a toxic gas into the air of your home, breaking down and corroding everything it comes in contact with. You may have heard of this 'silent hurricane that has hit the gulf coast' (as named by the lawyer) and heard of many different scenarios where the homeowners were taken care of by the builder or they won the lawsuit, etc. In our case, after lots of research and jumping through every hoop imaginable we had to walk away from our home. We were advised by our lawyer to do so, with the hope that one day the financial loss will be restored to us. But we know that nothing is promised.

So, the week before Christmas we were faced with this news. On Monday we met with the lawyer, on Tuesday we met with a realtor and we found a rental house we loved that would fit the needs of our growing family. On Wednesday we filled out all the necessary paperwork and gave over a hefty deposit to secure the rental home and then we waited to see if we had been approved. Just a few days later we celebrated Christmas and Aaron's birthday. We were then given the keys to the house and began a whirlwind of a packing process. We packed everything in one night and unpacked it the next day. We had an unbelievable group of people who surrounded us with so much love and support (and moving help!). We truly have the most amazing family and friends who walk in and willingly enter into the pain with us.

Our prayer during this crazy time was that God would provide the strength and energy we needed, that we would continue to serve Him with joy and bring glory to His name.

My New Year's Goals have been put on the back burner, as I can only focus on one thing at a time, and right now that one thing is about a billion things that include finishing the unpacking process and getting settled in this house. I hope to share those with you very soon! I am however, looking forward to what God is going to do in 2012. I am prayerfully asking Him to guide and lead all my decision making as I embark on a new journey with Ashlee Proffitt Design that will include new branding as a whole, a new design for the blog and website, new products and most importantly a new focus. I can't wait to share all of that with you! For now, enjoy these little bits of my decorating of the new place.


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